The room is huge. It is noisy. It is filled with lots of people. They are all a-twitter: debating, arguing, and sharing information, all in short bursts. They are following each other. The decor is sparse. The rules are simple.
Many guests are scoffing at the social in the much bigger room next door. In that blue room, people are liking each other’s Faces and harvesting virtual crops. There, they say, the news is old, the conversations are mundane, and the guests complain every time the decor changes. In our room, they say, people are more real. More interesting. More fun.
In the corner of the room, is a radio booth. On duty tonight are @DJFreshSA, @Anele, @F1sasha and @GarethCliff. A huge crowd is gathered around them, repeating everything they say. On the other end of the room is another radio booth. There @MarkPilgrimZA, @BaileySchneider, @PabiMoloi and @samcowen are chatting. @WhackheadS pops up occasionally, nobody has told him his mike is off.
The southern part of the room is the busiest. There they all stand in the shadow of a huge table. There is a lot of alcohol, and some whisps of smoke. @SamWilson1 is partying, @Tertia is working on her laptop, and @MvelaseP, @helenzille and @ianollis are talking politics. But not with each other. @dorothyblack is talking about sex. @ettiennebeneke is surfing. @SquidSquirt and @kambabe are talking to each other.
In the tech zone, @shapshak, @AkiAnastasiou, @paulscott56, @walterpike, @art2gee and @simondingle are comparing gadgets, codes and websites. Nobody understands a word that they are saying, but everybody nods, intrigued.
Wait, who is that, on the couch in the centre of the room? Why, it’s @NonhleThema. She is shouting about how many millions she has for dayzzzz. She is telling her fanz to SIT DOWN. BOOM. Many people in the room are pretending not to notice her, but they are hanging on her every word.
Near the beer fridge and the big screen TV, are @KevinMcCullum, @RunningGolfer and @6000. Actually, there is a huge crowd of sports fans. Today, they are watching #RWC. They are reporting every move on the field. And they are repeating everybody else’s reports of every move. Also near the TV is a group of people complaining loudly about the sports watchers. Later, when #SAIdol is on, the sports watchers will, in turn, start to complain about the TV watchers.
There is a group of people complaining loudly to anybody listening about the bad service they are getting. A small group of brave company representatives are trying to pacify them. @WOOLWORTHS_SA, @Vodacom and @TheGautrain are trying hard to keep everybody happy. @MichaelJordaan and @Rbjacobs are doing a better job.
@CrownePlazaJHB is hosting all the cool parties. On chilly days @MelanieMinnaar hands out #TBD blankets. @News24 and @ewnupdates keep interrupting with the news, brought to you by @MandyWiener and @StephenGrootes. @phillipdewet is ducking rocks at a protest.
@simonwillo is travelling. @IvoVegter is disagreeing with everyone. @Sentletse is debating with everyone. @gussilber and @khayadlanga are being philosophical, and everybody is repeating their philosophies. @JJ_UFS is writing letters to his children. Wait! It is @SA_Trivia time...
In the interactive zone, @dan_vh, @clivesimpkins, @staceysuperr, @angelo2711 and @RayRott are chatting amongst themselves. @KeenyKeenz is chatting about bicyles and white people. @tumimalatsi is being noisy. @sdiedericks is checking in on 4square!!!!!! @alambchop, @norwin, @TanyaKovarsky, @Nicki_Dadic, @MingBean, @samcholes, @ExMi, @acidicice and @Taniar2 are talking about their kids, @BronyW and @HayleyM_ are talking about their dogs and @TheJoLurie is talking about her cat.
@Jane_Anne62 is reading the news, the more bizarre, the better. @HansHaupt is working on his thesis. @comradesipho is writing articles. @mikestopforth is arranging a @27dinner. @DazMSmith, @blackburnmike, @cazpi and @Jenty are discussing photography.
@al_ice #ChaseYouAroundTheKitchenTableDiveForYouGrabYourAnkleNibbleOnItAsYouTryToGetAway! Smile on this Toosday! @spillly and @BarryTuck are telling dirty jokes. @FionaSnyckers, @brodiegal, @MeyerDeon, @JoanDeLaHaye and @laurenbeukes are talking about books.
Do you spot someone in the crowd that i missed? Please feel free to tell me in the comments.
Disclaimer: All the characters in this story are ficticious. If any description reminds you of someone, you are clearly as mad as i am. The contents of this publication reflect the opinion of the author only. This publication is for informational purposes only. Opinions expressed should not be construed as medical advice. The particulars of any person's concerns and circumstances should be discussed with a qualified health care practitioner prior to making any decision which may affect the health and welfare of that individual or anyone under his or her care.