twins? no, smoke and mirrors. well, no smoke. just mirrors...
i would love to have a secret twin, then i could do double the work in half the time... or spend double the money in half the time...
this is just to show you the new look. after 12/15 years of wearing contacts, i have switched to wearing glasses. i'm gradually getting used to them. and you can't really see, but my hair is longer in the front than in the back. it is so great - the best of both worlds...
i have been a bad blogger. i have just been so distracted. the worst is that i have nothing to show for all my time, it is just normal everyday stuff. you know?
also, i have been very sad for a very good friend of mine, who is slowly slipping away from this life. it is so awful to see the cruelness of cancer. and the tragedy of a family waiting... waiting for what they don't want to come. their lives are on hold, they are holding their breath, they are speaking in hushed tones, they are holding their tears. man, it is a difficult time. i have been editing photos of him, but from time to time i have to stop and move away, because the emotions become too huge, the sadness becomes overwhelming and the tears make it difficult to see.
and, as always when i am confronted with this kind of situation, i wish i had time to say goodbye almost 7 years ago, to my first husband ronnie. always there is a price to pay - a sudden death leaves loved ones behind in shock, with so many things that were left unsaid. a lingering goodbye usually means suffering and pain and memories of a loved one battered by a merciless disease. fortunately we do not get to choose. because that choice would be impossible.
my heart aches for my friend, because i know what lies ahead for her. i know what she is heading for. i know how empty her bed can be. i know how long her sundays can become. i know how lonely the hours can feel. i know how bland a cup of coffee can taste. i know how empty a house can seem. even with family and kids and friends and love and support, i know how huge and hungry the black hole of emptiness can get....
but. i also know how huge HIS mercy is. i know how comforting HIS love feels. i know how calming HIS presence becomes. i know what is is to 'walk through the valley of the shadow of death' (Ps 23:4), but i also know that 'the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus'. (Phil 4:7) (quotes from bible.com).
in our darkest hours, that is when we truly feel HIS presence.
jacki janse van rensburg - SCRAPPIN TIMES scrapbook shop, benoni, gauteng, south africa
