Aaaaarrrrgggghhhh! I am so angry, I could just..... just.... burst into tears!
A while ago, on twitter, someone mentioned that she was close to angry tears. Within minutes she had lots and lots of replies. It seems there are many women who can relate to that, including me. All of us agreed that when we get angry, or frustrated, we cry.
Crying is as much an expression of human emotions as laughter, we were designed to cry. But society has decided that laughing is much more acceptable than crying, especially in public. In fact, even violence, although frowned upon, is more acceptable than crying!
We all have situations where we get very angry, or very frustrated. Some people, like my husband, want to lash out, and fight. Much to my dismay and embarrassment, I start to cry. No matter how hard I try, I cannot help it! I am an emotional person, and keeping my feelings bottled up has never been my strong point. I cry when I’m happy. I cry when I’m sad. I cry when I’m angry. I cry in movies. In fact, when people run in slow motion across the beach in a cigarette advert, I cry. I once cried at a Toyota truck launch...
Of course, generally speaking, releasing emotions is a better way of dealing them. I have heard that tears are a way of flushing all that adrenalin. I know that I feel instant relief of the emotional tension that has been building up inside, after a good cry. So crying is a lot healthier than suppressing, and a lot more civilised than getting involved in a fistfight. But that is all well and good, when it happens in the privacy of my shower, or in my pillow.
The problem is when the angry tears happen in front of others. I want to come across as assertive, confident, justified. Instead I look silly, girly, pathetic. Just when I need to appear formidable, the tears come, and I lose all appearance of being capable and in control. Feeling humiliated by the unwelcome tears just makes matters worse. And of course, it doesn’t help that my mascara then runs in black streaks down my reddening cheeks, instantly multiplying the cringe factor!
The problem with angry tears is that they often achieve nothing. When, as the crier, I feel humiliated and powerless, I will often back down, thus ‘losing’. If the person I am angry at feels manipulated or blackmailed, nothing positive can come from the situation. Crying can be experienced as passive-aggressive behaviour or emotional blackmail.
Do you cry angry tears? How does that make you feel? And when someone cries angry tears in front of you, how does that make you feel?