there are lots of loose ends in my life, that trip me up. unfinished tasks that drain my energy. many of the stemming from my 'previous life'. i am often angry at ronnie for leaving me with so much unfinished, unorganised, unarranged. yet i am not doing so much better myself. and often i wake up in the night and lie awake and stress about the undone. it drains my energy, and fills me with fear.
a few months ago, in july 2009, i decided to give myself a year to fix, finish, finalise. and i did manage to do a lot. amongst others, sorting out car papers and license documents, and selling the old cars and buying newer ones, were part of that. and this year i want to do more. instead of having to tackle a huge project, i decided to break them up into smaller tasks. and to try and set myself a 'task of the week'. some tasks take more than one week, and some are quick and easy, and take only a few minutes. doing it this way, made me feel more in control, and less overwhelmed.
part of the visualisation of the word, is this:
i like the fact that there are mountains, and they look pretty daunting, and big. but on the other side is a valley of peace.
so: i want to overcome the physical 'mountains' in my life. i am not going to list them all here, but i do have a list of specifics. most of them are administrative and organisational.
but also: i want to overcome other things too. overcome some bad habits. procrastinating. paralysing myself with fear. doubting myself.
overcome fear: fear of failure. fear of success. fear of not having enough.
i hope look forward to coming back to this post at the end of 2010, and reflect on just how much i have overcome. overwon.
do you have a word for 2010? what is it? did you blog it? tell me, i love to know!